You were in some random 6 man tag match on Raw but I can't remember who won. I just sim all Raw/SD matches and pay no attention to their results with regards to MSF. Unless one of our members happened to pick up a WWE title at some point.
CM Punk opens the show with a promo. "The WWE currently has a champion that should not be. He is a disgrace to the title that he holds and I want, no, I need to rid this company of him. If I had my way I would simply kick him all the way back to the gutter from which he came. But our esteemed boss *rolls eyes* Mr McMahon says that this man draws in a lot of viewers. The people who are tuning in to see JX must be as high as he is. So Vince tells me tonight's plans. Vince is of the age where bingo is now appealing to him. So he has a bucket or something...I dunno what it was, do I look like the kind of man who knows how bingo is played? That bucket is filled with balls with the names of every WWE employee on them. Vince will pull two balls....heh....two balls out of said bucket. The first name will be my tag team partner and the second will be JX's. This little game is all about luck but I don't need it. Luck...is for losers. Good luck JX."
Heath Slater is looking quite worried here and he is right to be as he is soon decked by three quick clotheslines in succession.
Diablo largely has the upper hand in this match. Slater gets in some offence but nothing that Diablo can't shake off. Diablo finishes Slater off with a codebreaker and picks up the win.
CM Punk makes his way back to the ring first for his mystery tag team match.
Punk's partner is Eddie Guerrero! JX then enters.
JX's luck is in after all as he draws Brock Lesnar!
It's a pretty even match at first. Lots of suplexing going on between Punk and Lesnar. JX is tagged in.
But he tags himself out immediately before Eddie can touch him! Is this the showings of a cowardly, or intelligent man? On the basis of the F5 that soon follows, it was a smart thing for JX to do. Eddie kicks out of the pinfall.
JX hits his finisher, which I understand he has named the "Smoked Out." Lesnar protects the pin attempt from being broken up as JX gets a victory. JX could be the weakest link in this line up but he put up a massive fight and really took it to Eddie. Punk may say that JX is a bad champion but right now he looks anything but.
Zack Ryder finds Hurricane in his dressing room. "Bro, that dude who attacked you is doing something to your car." Hurricane runs away to find him.
Hurricane fails to show for his tag match so the referee has no option but to start it as a tornado handicap match.
Gavan has been left high and dry by Hurricane's no show and it stacks the deck in Boobs' favour.
On the titantron we see backstage footage. Hurricane's car is on fire and he can do nothing about it. We have been told that he has burned his hands and could not make it out here for the match.
Gavan struggles to get any offence in. If he attempts a move on one Boob, the other one breaks it up quickly. AC beats on him while TC can simply taunt.
Gavan could do little without a partner as Boobs overcome him for the victory. If Zack Ryder was right then we understand that Hurricane's car was destroyed by his mystery attacker. We hope to bring you more on this on the next episode.
MSF returns following a summer break tonight and we have some important action to give you. Unfortunately our World Champion Hurricane can't be here tonight because he has undergone an emergency hand transplant. His hands were too badly damaged in a car fire and they couldn't be saved. As luck would have it, Mae Young gave birth to twin hands and they have been donated to Hurricane's cause. He will be fit to defend his title for our first PPV next week, MicroSlam. His opponent will be decided in a 10 man Royal Rumble match in the main event tonight.
Dark Match: Daniel Bryan Def. Santino Marella.
During our summer break, Gavan returned to his native France and then went on to compete in the 2012 London Olympics. Not many fans out there will be aware that Gavan is a highly skilled archer and he duly won the Gold Medal in Archery for France. His friend and tag team partner JX extended his congratulations to him on his return this evening.
CM Punk: "So you won a medal by playing bows and arrows? Bra-vo, Hawkeye. Too bad it doesn't mean anything here in the WWE. Even your buddy here holds more impressive gold, even if he is less than inspiring himself. But nowhere near as impressive as my WWE Championship." Gavan: "So what is your point, Punk? Why are you here?" CM Punk: "I'm here because I wanted a match with JX. But now that you're irritating me with your stupid French accent I want to take that medal and shove it up your ass. But I won't. So why don't you two meet me in the ring next and I'll find someone who wouldn't mind showing you what to do with that medal."
JX enters first followed by Gavan and then Punk, who waits at the bottom of the ramp.
Michael Cole: "Kurt fucking Angle! A man with a gold medal which is relevant to our sport!"
Gavan shows he can more than match Angle's wrestling ability with a nicely executed suplex.
Chemistry and understanding goes a long way as Gavan and JX team up on Angle. Gavan hits his finisher on Punk but he kicks out.
Gavan doing a little taunting by way of a French dance before hitting a second Breaking News in the match. This one is good enough for the pin and the win.
The rest of the MSF roster have a chance at Hurricane's title as well as three guest spots.
Masson dominates the early going by eliminating AC and SPZ quickly.
TC and CMC are up next before the first guest entry. WHAT? That's a goddamn gorilla! And it can wrestle! What. The. Fuck? The Rock is the next man up.
The gorilla is surprisingly good at Royal Rumbles and stays in until there is only one spot left. Michael Cole: "It's the man who burned Hurricane's hands off. Allegedly." This is our first clear look at this man and the internet rumours have been confirmed. It is ALEX! He takes control of the match and dumps the gorilla out, therefore winning the chance to fight Hurricane for the MSF World title. Michael Cole: "What are the odds? You couldn't write this stuff." Booker T: "Actually, you could."
Michael Cole: "Alex is going to Microslam to face Hurricane for the championship. At least now Hurricane knows who this mystery man finally is. And what will he do about it at Microslam? Buy the PPV to find out. Or stream it, we don't care. We're not fucking uptight like some admins on some wrestling figure websites."