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Post by King of Kings on Jul 10, 2010 1:15:48 GMT -5
ok this is what happening,
my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help
see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team
and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz
so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex
"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."
So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.
then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.
ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.
i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.
any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?
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Post by CMC on Jul 10, 2010 1:35:18 GMT -5
Laughing..My fucking ass...Off! Actual tears.
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Post by King of Kings on Jul 10, 2010 1:55:42 GMT -5
I just have to say, I saw this post on another forum a long time ago and I found it saved as a word doc on my old PC that I'm going through. I google'd it, and I guess it's kinda known. So yeah haha, I thought it'd be funny as hell to post.
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Post by CMC on Jul 10, 2010 2:02:33 GMT -5
I really, REALLY wish that was true, but eh. Still, that was brilliant, so thank you.
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Post by Attitude Adjusted on Jul 10, 2010 2:02:41 GMT -5
That sounds epic. xD
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Post by MJH on Jul 10, 2010 9:19:33 GMT -5
it was on WF.
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Squig
Backyarder
Posts: 208
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Post by Squig on Jul 10, 2010 9:41:52 GMT -5
lol if that was true it would of been hillarious
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Post by Famous. on Jul 10, 2010 20:15:29 GMT -5
ELL OH ELL.
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Post by Hurricane on Jul 10, 2010 22:06:55 GMT -5
I burned your girlfriend too. She tried to bite my hot dog without letting it cool down.
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Post by King of Kings on Jul 11, 2010 1:57:22 GMT -5
She's getting scorched from every angle! Quick! Give her WWF No Mercy!
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Post by Hurricane on Jul 11, 2010 2:09:08 GMT -5
BUT THAT GAME IS BETTER THAN SEX! [/half of Wrestlingfigs]
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Post by King of Kings on Jul 11, 2010 2:12:11 GMT -5
LMFAO! It's the key to your freedom though. If you don't give her No Mercy, she'll show you No Mercy....IN THE COURTROOM!
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Post by AC on Jul 20, 2016 2:23:50 GMT -5
Topping this 6 year old thread because its's too damn awesome
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